World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade Beta Coverage
World Of Warcraft: It's the End of the World As We Know It

John Funk | 12 Jan 2007 04:42
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It's the End of the World As We Know It

...and I feel fine.

Got 8?
Got 8?

Yes, I'm aware that this is chronologically my last journal entry, as the events happen at the end of the beta. However, I feel that as awesome as this is, I've got another one written (that I'm just waiting on a certain something for) that's a much better send-off. So, just this once, we're gonna do this all mix-up-like. You with me? Sweet.

There was a forum post by everyone's favorite Ancient of Something-or-other, Tyren, warning us beta-testers about an impending "event," or somesuch. Anybody who'd heard about the last End of Beta event from the original WoW Beta knew what this meant... the end of the world! (Of Warcraft) As your faithful journalist, I decided to brave this apocalypse in order to bring news and pictures and stuff to you... one last time.

Only, it wasn't the last time, because there's still one more journal entry after this, but it really WAS the last time, because that was written before this one, but really it wasn't...

Okay, I'm done there.

Knowing that I'm likely short on time, I make a low-level Troll Mage alt (creatively named "Jaynezz") that I run to the gates of Orgrimmar in order to get a screenshot with forum Lore-fiend Ghostwalka. For, um, absolutely no reason whatsoever. Really and honestly true. Scout's honor!

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Anyway, I get there to find Tyyren, a gigantic level 70 Blood Elf Rogue in full Bonescythe--but he's not alone. There's a massive Fel Reaver I'd never seen before named Doomwalker. I guess he's the raid boss from Netherstorm, but we never saw him spawn in beta. I guess they didn't want us to know how to defeat him too early? I dunno. Anyway, Doomwalker has some AoE abilities that I don't get to see because they kill me instantly. Damn level 1 HP.

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Doomwalker, like Azuregos and the four Green Dragons, has an ability called "Aura of Death" that applies a Mark of Death to you when you die. What does Mark of Death do, you ask? Well, if you come back to life with it on and Doomwalker is anywhere near you... you die again. Truly a bit more "to the point" than Azuregos' mark or the Green Dragons'.

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After a while, Highlord Kruul shows up and the two of them duke it out, though Tyyren takes Doomwalker's side and kills Kruul with him, then despawns Doomwalker and AoE rezzes everybody in the area. Pretty cool.

Before long, he summons Azuregos, but we all know how to deal with Azuregos, so the blue dragon goes down amidst a zerg of Horde. It turns out that we had some help killing Azuregos (as if we needed it) from High Overlord Saurfang and his son, Saurfang the Younger. Truly, an epic battle.

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Tyyren leaves us after a while, but is replaced by Tsericc--only Tsericc has the form of a certain big black dragoness, and mousing over him displays "Level ?? Human Warlock." Don't ask me, I don't question Warlocks in Dragon-form. Far too overpowered. Tsericc chills with us for a bit, but then I decide to get back to the PvP server and see what's up there!

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I log into Shattrath, which is currently in flames and under siege. A'dal is dead, infernals are raining down upon the city, and I see a familiar face--Doomwalker.

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Luckily, being level 70 and in Outland, I have access to my faithful companion, the Flying Mount They Call Terrence! Terrence and I fly above Shattrath where we watch the carnage safely from the skies.

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It isn't long before another being joins the deadly Fel Reaver, and it's also relatively familiar to anyone who's ever walked through the Dark Portal. He's a giant Pit Commander, and flying safely in front of him a good distance away really makes me respect Thrall and Grom even more (which is pretty damn hard to do, all things considered).

My poor laptop does not like all these people and monsters crammed into one area, and I start to noticeably glitch and not render, uh, the world. But though my poor computer cries at me "Why, Jayne(z), why!? Haven't I been a good computer? Haven't we had fun times together?! What did I do to deserve this?!" the servers remain surprisingly and welcomingly stable, which actually may bode well for the live launch of this game.

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Though I believe myself to be perfectly safe from my flying position with Terrence... I'm not. Something does an AoE spell, turning us all into chickens, and I fall to the ground where the Pit Commander owns me.

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As I res, I take a few more screenshots of the giant demon rampaging through Shattrath before a friend informs me that currently, Lethon, Ysondre, Emeriss and Taerar are having a blast tearing up Orgrimmar, so I head that way.

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I barely make it there to see Ysondre and Emeriss just before they despawn, but the Warrior City isn't in the clear yet. For the Powers That Be have decided that I can't possibly get away from this guy, so they spawn Doomwalker at the gates of Org. This time around, I figure out that he does a really painful Earthquake for around 2k damage a tick as well as a single-target Trample that just hurts. A lot.

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To enable my survival for a longer period of time, I go get all my +stamina gear from the bank and toss it on, quaffing a flask... and I get my HP over 10,000 (with the right buffs). Yay for BC stamina gear. How I love it.

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I admit to being a bit of a coward here, because I'm basically running a slideshow and don't want to have to run back to my corpse unnecessarily, so I use Invisibility and get away from Doomwalker until they despawn him. He's immediately replaced by Highlord Kruul, but it does seem that Kruul is tuned for a raid of 40 level 60s, and a whole mess of level 70s brings him down very, very quickly.

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A rain of Infernals is next, but they're not too bad at all, and are quickly dispatched by kiting them to High Overlord Saurfang, who does his Saurfang Thang and, uh, kills them brutally. That's pretty much all there is to it. No fancy abilities or buffs or skills, just brutal and efficient slaughter. It's sort of refreshing, come to think about it.

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Little did I know that the best was yet to come.

Omen (the dog from the Chinese New Year holiday last year) is then spawned, and we quickly start killing him... but then he's joined by four buddies, and their AoE Starfall rapidly overwhelms us.

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Ouch. Well, I'm dead, time to run back. It takes me a little bit to get back, and by the time I reach my corpse...? Well, there are two 'colossal' enemies to deal with now. Yep, the Powers That Be have decided that we in Org are hardcore enough to take on both the Colossus of Zora and the Colossus of Ashi simultaneously.

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We're actually doing a pretty good job of it when they're both despawned and replaced by a flood of El Pollo Grande [Black Chicken of Death]. While El Pollo Grande, as a terrifying level 50, might have been a death sentence to the underlevelled testers of the original WoW Beta, he's just a minor nuisance to us and we easily dispatch the flocks of mutant fowl.

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No rest for the wicked (or the l337), though! The next forces thrown at our, uh, horde of Horde, are three top-ranking Alliance NPCs: Highlord Bolvar Fordragon, Lady Jaina Proudmoore, and King Magni Bronzebeard. I would just like to say that Bolvar's AoE stun is very, very, annoying.

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Nevertheless, we all seem to divide up into three groups and fight the dastardly humans (and Dwarf!) off. Magni is the first to fall, then Lady Proudmoore, and finally Highlord Fordragon. Take that, you good-posture-havers, you!

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I temporarily go AFK to make myself a quick snack and come back to a carpet of dead Hogger bodies. Though I can't prove anything, the Darkmoon Faire Barker is the nearest NPC, so I have half a mind to accuse him of genocide! I knew that whole "come to the Darkmoon Faire, we've got goodies!" thing was just an act! I'm on to you, Darkmoon Faire Barker... so you just watch your back.

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The next wave consists of elite level 60 abominations from the summer's "Scourge Invasion" event, but they get dealt with fairly quickly.

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After them... well, the Colossus of Ashi returns for Round 2, and this time he's alone--so he goes down pretty damn easily. And we actually get a Teebu's Blazing Longsword off the bugger, too. Isn't that, like, one of the rarest BoE epics in the entire game? What are the freaking odds of that?

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Man, I really wish someone would take the Argent Avenger (that's the sword, right?) and a Teebu's and re-enact the lightsaber duels from the original Star Wars Trilogy. That would be so awesome.

All of these battles were just skirmishes, though, leading up to the Main Event. Bolvar Fordragon returns, and TPTB pump him up to monstrous size! Who can save us? Who can protect the Horde from those damn Hu-Mons? Do we have any champion willing to stand up to the wrath of Giant Highlord Bolvar Fordragon?

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You bet your ass we do.

He's green, he's mean, and he's getting pumped up to super-size along with his foe.

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Yes, Highlord Bolvar Fordragon and High Overlord Saurfang duke it out, both while giant-sized. Yes, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in this entire world (of Warcraft!). Yes, I can now die a happy WoW Player.

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Because he's freakin' High Overlord Saurfang (in addition to the swarm of Horde chipping away at Fordragon's HP), the big green machine is wiping the floor with his human adversary, barely at 90% health when Fordragon is starting to go into critical levels of life.... And then suddenly, our champion vanishes, eliminated by those wicked, cruel, Powers That Be.

In retribution, we take up arms to avenge our fallen hero, and we pwn that Fordragon's ass from here to freakin' Xoroth. Yes, we pwn him so hard that he crosses dimensions.

The battle isn't over, though after that Clash of the Titans, everything else seems weak and watered-down--even the brief appearance of Doom Lord Kazzak in Supreme Mode, who AoE's us all down before being despawned in under a minute.

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Emeriss and Eranikus <Tyrant of the Dream> show up, and we (somehow) manage to kill them. But to squelch our triumph, the wicked Powers That Be then suddenly spawn five Pit Commanders--yes, FIVE of them--onto our forces. Without Saurfang, that looks pretty damn hopeless.

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So, I think that's a night. An awesome event, and nothing could really top that showdown between Fordragon and Saurfang. EVER. And also, an awesome beta. It certainly was fun.

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So, for the last time... er, it's not the last time, because there's still one left, but this is the last time I'll write this, so...

Oh, forget it.

-TMTCJ(z) out.

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