time for a new thread for jokes! (without necroing an old post)

person 1: Did you hear about the canibal who dumped his girlfriend?
...
...
... Think about it!
...
person two looks pensively, then: EWWWWW!

Wow, I remember that one going around the playground when i was about 11.

Any I have these days are so inappropriate I'd probably be banned instantly for any one of them.

mrcheese:
Wow, I remember that one going around the playground when i was about 11.

Any I have these days are so inappropriate I'd probably be banned instantly for any one of them.

Probably. :D

Following Bright_Raven's trend, let's convert this into a Bad Joke Thread.

So, and American, a Frenchman, and an Indian are in an airplane.
The American sticks his hand out of the window and says "Ah, we must be over America, I can feel the Statue of Liberty."
The Frenchman sticks his hand out and says "No you idiot, we are over France, I can feel the Eiffel tower!"
Then the Indian guy sticks his hand out and says "You are both wrong, we are over India."
They ask him how he knows that, so he shows them his hand and says "My watch is stolen."

A man walks into a bar and sits down.

He asks the bartender for a glass of 30 year old Scotch.

The bartender looks at him and dusts off a bottle of 10 year old Scotch, pour the drink and hands it to the man.

The man takes a sip and gets agitated, "I wanted 30 year old Scotch this is 10 year old Scotch!", and sends the drink back.

The bartender thinks decides this guy can't be that good and reaches for a bottle of 20 year old Scotch, dusts off the bottle and pours the man a new drink.

The man takes a sip of the new drink and gets a bit more irate, "I wanted 30 year old Scotch! This is 20 year old Scotch! What are you trying to do here!"

Beaten the bartender goes to the cellar and gets a bottle of 30 year old Scotch, dusts off the bottle and pours the man his drink.

The man takes a sip and is finally content. During the whole exchange a bystander was watching and calls to the bartender, "Hey gimme a glass."

The bartender hands the bystander the glass, which he pees in and then gives to the man drinking the Scotch and asks "How old am I?"

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What's green and smells like yellow paint?

Green paint.

*edit* damn, i knew my awesome alternative punchline to wolf's joke would vanish. Good thing I didn't tell something REALLY offensive.

What did Helen Keller say after falling off a cliff?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This one is really terrible and I feel almost bad for posting it:

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her?
They'd move the furniture around.

HAHAHAHAHA!
Moon for the win.

Oh lord

This is so bad yet so funny

What did Hitler gethis daughter for Christmas?

An E-Z Bake Oven.

LivemeLifefree:
What did Hitler gethis daughter for Christmas?

An E-Z Bake Oven.

My good sir, you may have just slain this thread.

Good or bad way?

LivemeLifefree:
Good or bad way?

Like burnt cake bad.

Sigoya:

LivemeLifefree:
Good or bad way?

Like burnt cake bad.

Jew refference there?

I more so meant did I win, or fail.

Edit to mod: You could've just deleted the joke, I'd prefer that then replacing words.

I think we should stop pushing the limits there, before the thread gets closed.

Fine, I'll stop posting jokes.

I don't think it'd hurt my feelings if you stopped posting altogether.

LivemeLifefree:
What did Hitler gethis daughter for Christmas?

An E-Z Bake Oven.

I really take offense to this, my grandfather died in those concentration camps. Ya he was taking aim and fell right off the guard tower.

MoonPenguin:
I don't think it'd hurt my feelings if you stopped posting altogether.

:( That hurts Moon.

bloodyleach:

LivemeLifefree:
What did Hitler gethis daughter for Christmas?

An E-Z Bake Oven.

I really take offense to this, my grandfather died in those concentration camps. Ya he was taking aim and fell right off the guard tower.

ROFL, that was good.

Yeah I agree that we should stay away from offensive jokes,or at least use the spoiler tags.

MoonPenguin:
This one is really terrible and I feel almost bad for posting it:

Warning: Don't click me if political jokes offend you.

Got an lol outa me. And I've heard 'em all.

MoonPenguin:
I don't think it'd hurt my feelings if you stopped posting altogether.

Lol #2

(See how I am ever so slowly increasing my post count in an attempt to become Escapist worthy...)

Wolfkin14:
Yeah I agree that we should stay away from offensive jokes,or at least use the spoiler tags.

Please do so. We'd like to keep the banhammer in its original packaging :P

Now, I've never used spoiler, so how would I do that?

[ spoiler = sheep clothing ] wolf [ / spoiler ]

Remove spaces and voila:

Thanks.

So, under the sheep is a wolf?

IT'S A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. I GET IT!

Bahhhh. I'ma sheep

MoonPenguin:
IT'S A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. I GET IT!

Always knew you're the bright one. :P

Sigoya:

MoonPenguin:
IT'S A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. I GET IT!

Always knew you're the bright one. :P

actually i am the bright one...

an infitite number of mathamatictions walk into a pub, the first one orders a beer. the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer the forthone dosent get a chance to order anything because the bartender gives them two beers and tells them to piss off...

A bad joke?
select punchline
a/ their is one in your pants!
b/ the american educational, medical, political, economic systems
c/ YOU!
d/ all the jokes that have been posted (exept for bloodyleach)
you get the picture?

We allowed dead baby jokes?

lol. Probably not, still got a lol out of me