Asherons Call: A Word to the Wise...God Bless the Child Who's Got His Own

Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver's Travels, wrote a small dissertation appended to said work, proposing how to end the famine in Ireland: eat babies. He postulated that a healthy baby could feed several people, and cost next to nothing to fatten up, since they drink breast milk for the first year of life. Once they are nice and plump, they go into the oven. Now, some people may think that this is cruel and unconscionable, but think about those soccer players that were stranded in the mountains when their plane crashed: they did what they had to do.

I propose that laws about when a "child" is considered an adult be modified and not be a static 18 years old. Some people are fully mature at 13, some don't grow up until 30. It should be up to the parents to decide when their offspring is ready to leave the nest. They would set up the young adult with a job, and living space, and kick them out. This would cause a great many individuals to become productive members of society, rather than mooching off their forebears, and bringing down the economy.

Once they are out in the world, they will appreciate how sheltered they were at home, and will complete their maturation quickly, wishing to make their parents proud of giving them the boot. They will work hard, wanting to maintain (or improve) the lifestyle they are accustomed to. This will further improve the economy, swell the job market, and create new resources, ideas and competition. Parent-child relations will be at an all-time high because each side will be able to communicate from a platform of mutual respect and understanding. The world will be a better place, and children will be truly valued, instead of throwaway commodities.