Dark Age Of Camelot: I Dood It MY Way!

I have officially MADE IT. I am now 22 level with my Theurg, Bottom, and that means that I''m able to enter the exalted Battlegrounds! Yeay, me! And so, for the very first time last night, I did.

For all of five seconds, at which point some little dwarf ran up to me, grabbed my bottom lip, stretched it over my head, slapped my butt, and then sent me back to the bindstone.

At least I''m pretty sure that''s what happened. I couldn''t really be sure, as there was an AoE spell they kept casting - I think it''s called ''Exploding Nipples'' or something like that, because the front of my robe burst into flames - that engulfed me in fire and kind of made it difficult to see anything. I like to think that I''m a pretty observant guy, but even Sherlock Holmes would be hard pressed to observe all that''s going on around him while his nipples are ablaze.

Anyway, a short horsey ride and purchase of a necklace, and I''m back on the Battlegrounds. This time we''re doing a little better; we''ve actually got a force across the river laying siege to the Keep. I run over to join them, only some Troll Jarl stops me on the bridge to pay the toll. Finding no change in my pockets, the Jarl instead accepts my ass as payment. Sigh.

Another horsey ride. Another portal. This time, I learn that the secret to actually surviving to make it across the river is by swimming. Which is fine, except that there''s a new species of Midgards known as "Ninja Sharks." So while I''m swimming along, happy that I''m finally going to get to do some scrapping, a Ninja Shark scents me and gives me a nice shiny dagger to play with. Unfortunately, having embedded it in the back of my head makes it difficult for me to do anything with it except carry it back to the bindstone. Sigh. And even then, I lose it along the way, so I wind up back at the bindstone with nothing to show for my good time except resurrection sickness. Weeee.

Horse. Portal. Again. Grumble.

Now there are actually other people at the drop off! Yeay! Not only do we go to the bridge together, but we give those Jarls some what-for! That''ll learn ''em! Of course, in the middle of all this what-for''ing, a Ninja (not the shark variety, mind you) sneaks up and ninjas me in the back of the head. This time I''m in luck, though, because the other people around me leap up and give him a hasty beat-down. After which, I''m kindly rezzed. Phew. No more horsey for me! Well, at least not till we get overrun...wait, I''m getting ahead of myself.

So we clear the bridge. Now we''re at the foot of the keep. I put our strength around 20 at best. That''s actually being very generous - we were probably closer to a dozen. Looking up at the keep, we see...oh, I dunno...100 Mids? So this, obviously, is going to be fun.

The thing is, the Mids are pretty content to sit back and let us take potshots at each other. I guess they figured if they nuked us right off the bat, that would only be one batch of realm points they could get - but if they kept allowing us to rez our fallen, they could get batches and batches. Which makes sense now. At the time, I was wondering why the heck they were just sitting up at their gates. Every once in a while one of us would come in range of one of them, and there would be much explosions, curses and general running amokness. We got a few good licks in, too - why, I even got a Realm Point myself! Yes, I''m aware that you archers have good range. But so do my elementals. Hee. That was probably the greatest thrill I had - an archer came down the hill off to the side of where I was standing and began firing shots into the group of Albs over there. He was so focused on them that I managed to sick about five elementals on him before he got the heck out of Dodge. As it was, a couple of melee types jumped in and together with my little rock heads, pounded the snot out of him. And I was in Realm Point city! My very first Realm Point!

Of course, a few seconds after that, the Mids came bounding down the hill and pretty much just bowled us over. Horse. Portal. Weeeee.

I was starting to get the hang of this now. I managed to make it across the river again and rendevuous with the rest of the Albs. To the same result, of course. The Mids stood at the top of the hill for a while, watching us. I think they were scared of me. I can''t say I blame them. After all, when I die, it''s usually a bloody mess, and who wants to run through a big patch of me? No, better to stay up on the hill where your boots can stay nice and dry and gore-free.

My overall assessment is: this is FUN. I don''t know if I''m ever going to level again. I''m having too much fun out there in the playground known as Thidranki. I don''t think I''m the only one, either - there were definitely a large number of Mids there, and a pretty decent group of Albs. I don''t know where the Hibs were, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were the ones that spray-painted "ALBS R BIG GIRLY GIRLS" all over the sides of our fortress while we were laying siege to the Keep.

What about the rest of you? Anybody else out there got some words of wisdom or some funny experiences to share? Drop by the Battlegrounds message boards, where I''ve been hanging out at lately. I like them, because the Info to Jerk ratio is very good. And there isn''t all the whining about loosing your relic (*shoots embarrassed look at the grown-up''s boards*).

That''s a whole ''nother can of worms, there. Honestly, by the way some stupid people are whining, you''d think that the Mids flew over in their hovertanks, blazed everyone with their laser death beams, grabbed the Relic, and then had Scotty teleport them home. Me, I say damn good job, Mids. You roxored our faces tough. I couldn''t do anything about it, being busy getting my buttocks served up to me on the Children''s Playpen known as the Battlegrounds. But I AM drinking my milk every day... ;)

That really is a great thing about the Battlegrounds - we get to see some of the RvR action and learn some of the skills and tactics that will help when we go out amongst the big kids. I do wish, though, that there were some tangible benefits to holding the Keep in the Battlegrounds so that more people would take advantage of it. C''mon you guys, re-roll if you have to, but come out here and join us! I promise it''ll be much less stressful than the frontiers...;)

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[p class=SmallFont align=center]You can read more about Kwip and his adventures in DAoC at http://www.neenerneener.net/.