Dark Age Of Camelot: Alas, Poor Shakespeare!

Most longtime roleplayers in the online medium know that what you type translates into how others perceive your character. Adding an apostrophe here, a quirky misuse of verb there, can create the illusion of an accent or provincial way of thinking. After all, look at the way many trolls choose to play. "Da house iz too teeny for Grunk!" By seeing that, we realize we're dealing with a dimwitted pile of axe-toting stones who is about to widen the door jam manually.

Many roleplayers choose to use their language to convey their character's personality. Perhaps the second most popular theme after "trollspeak" comes in the form of Shakespearean English. This beautiful language has charmed people for centuries with its lyrical sound and complex structure, so it should not surprise us that people frequently turn to it to spice up their in character interactions.

They turn to it. They embrace it. They mangle it beyond recognition. In fact, I saw it mangled so often that some seven years ago, in a far away land called Elanthia, I created a character by the name of Risper Shadowchild who spoke only in Shakespearean English, simply to prove it could be done right.

Before my readers consider me a hopeless language snob, let me explain. I appreciate anyone's attempts at roleplaying. Really, it is the thought that counts, and some people manage it admirably. Those that don't can, for the most part, be easily forgiven, because really, Shakespearean English is a language unto itself.

However, some basic and simple rules do apply that can make bad speech a whole lot better. I need to state up front that I am not an expert at this. I've enjoyed reading Shakespeare for a number of years now, and enjoy watching the plays performed in both movies and on stage. I've done some basic research. I have not, however, made an extensive study of it.

Even I had no idea how complex Shakespearean English truly is until I met someone in Midgard on Nimue. Some poor besotted soul had tortured our ears for a good five minutes with mismatched "thees" and "thous" before this man spoke up, correcting the errors. When I spoke to him, he told me that he actually had almost finished a college degree in Shakespearean English, and was nearly conversational in it. Not only did this make him my hero, it really drove home the difficulty of the language.

It takes a long time to learn all the nuances and proper usages, far more time than most of us are willing to put in for casual play. I would, just because I find languages fascinating, but the fact is, you're likely not going to go to college so your character will speak right. This doesn't mean that some effort shouldn't be put into doing it correctly, however. To this end, I am posting a bit of a primer to help all of us sound better.

As a bit of trivia, Shakespeare did not write in Middle English, or even Old English. He wrote in Early Modern English. Old English predates him. As an example of Old English, think of Beowulf. Or, here is the Lord's Prayer, as written in Old English:

Faeder ure, thu the eart on heofenum, si thin nama gehalgod. To-becume thin rice. Geweorthe thin willa on eorthan, swa swa on heofenum. Urne daeghwamlican half syle us to-daeg. An forgyf us ure gyltas, swa swa we forgifath urum gyltendum. And ne gelaede thu us on costnunge, ac alys us of yfle: Sothlice.

Middle English, as we progress in time, is what Chaucer wrote in. "Whan that Aprille with his shoures sote, The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote." That's a bit closer to ours than Old English, but still older than Shakespeare. If this ever helps you win lots of money on a game show, please remember me.

Let's get our "thees" and "thous" straight. First of all, they're both pronouns. Thee is the objective case. That means it's used as the direct or indirect object of a verb.

Thou, on the other hand, is used to reference the one being addressed. Think Biblically: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Thou is used, because God is addressing someone.

(More trivia: thou is also a verb. It means to address as thou, especially to treat someone familiarly or with contempt. "If thou thouest him some thrice, it shall not be amiss.")

Here is a good example from Shakespeare using both pronouns in a single sentence. "This sword hath ended him; so shall it thee, unless thou yield thee as my prisoner." Why is that final thee used? Because thee is also used poetically to represent "thyself".

Which brings us to the possessives. What about Thy versus Thine, or My versus Mine? It all depends on what noun they're modifying. Thine and Mine are used for nouns that start with vowels or the letter H, while Thy and My are used for consonants. The handy way to remember this is to recall the line from an old song: "Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I will pledge with mine." So, you have "mine eyes" and "my friends".

One note about the H usage. You know how you use "a" or "an" in front of some words that start with H? It's the same. You don't say "an hand", you say "a hand". But you do say "an honor". So it would be "thy hand" and "thine honor".

Thine can also be a pronoun. It's used without a following noun (like you see in "thine eyes"), as mine can be. Look at that song quote again. "...and I will pledge with mine." Mine is, I believe, a pronoun.

So, all you need to speak right is to replace the appropriate "yous" and "yours" with "thees" and "thys", right? Not quite. Sentence structure is quite different. Unfortunately, it is also convoluted and complex, and I have no simple way to break it down. If you are that interested, there are certainly resources on the web.

Finally, there are some very neat old words and phrases that are certainly worth learning. I enjoy calling someone a "coystrill" or saying I was "gallowed", or even telling someone to "sneck up". These are all old phrases that sound neat, and are fun to throw in. The best place to find these are glossaries of the terminology. I made myself a list of my favorite words, printed it out, and keep it handy for when I want to use something particularly interesting.

The following are links you may enjoy regarding the topic. When using these words and phrases, I highly recommend finding passages in Shakespeare that contain them, to give you a better idea for usage. For each quote and word on my cheat sheet, I have a phrase to give me context.

An Online Shakespearean Glossary

Cliff Notes Shakespearean Glossary

About.com's Elizabethan Glossary

What's the best thing you can do to learn how to properly speak like this, and sound right? Read. Read Shakespeare. Chaucer. The King James Bible. Watch movies done of Shakespeare's plays (My favorites are Mel Gibson's "Hamlet", Kenneth Branagh's "Henry V" or "Othello", and Elizabeth Taylor's "Taming of the Shrew"). Hear the rhythm and cadence, and the word usage. It helps.

If you happen to be an expert in this, please e-mail me and tell me what I've done wrong. I will happily add information and corrections!