Horizons: My Apologies, Mr Shakespeare - Limerick Contest Winners

Congrats to the Rhyming Rhapsodizers: Flsssssh of Blight, Shalindra of Order, and Awdz of Chaos!

....and here's another quick limerick break before you get to reading the winning submissions:

There once was a dragon so pretty,
She thought of herself as quite witty.
Reciting her rhymes,
Her friends always chimed,
"Good grief, Zur, your rhyming sucks."

This anti-limerick was brought to you by Zuraneve Tsaahir/Kala Reshana on Chaos

All three of the winners submitted multiple limericks that told something of a story and here are the winning limericks:

In high spirits and feeling quite well
I went to speak to Jartell
He spoke with much pride
Then to me did confide
"These raids to the south must be quelled!"

So south I flew looking for Burris
And found him all full of worries
In addition to killing
The raiders were building
Something that rained down blighted flurries

The scout tasked me to find from the Kwellans
What they were building, it wasn't a dwelling
Then I saw Daknor
A nasty eye-sore
And apparently the head honcho villain

My feet to him quickly did patter
I was eager to start a palaver
Daknor didn't wait
From my animated state
To reduce me to naught but cadaver.

The button I press to recall
To safety behind Harro's wall
I launch in the air
And southward I tear
This time a Kwellan will fall!

I land, spy my prey, "Hey you!"
"get over here, you got s'planing to do!"
I raise my claw
And open my maw
Blast! Dragon 0, Kwellan 2

Recall and flight o'er the trees
I hover and Draknor I see
This time I'm sage
And ready Gold Rage
Draknor laughs and hands my tail to me.

Another recall, this time I'm pissed
"He dies," though bared teeth I hissed
But I became smaller
By a Ogre Rockhauler
With a zombie laborer assist

Recall and again I'm alive
Back to Burris, I quickly stride
No one to sear?
This is just weird
Mobs spawn and now I'm at five

I'm at the end of my wits
A Kwellan I'm trying to hit
I land, but don't see
The one behind me
Argh!, Flsssssh 0, Kwellans 6

Again to the skies I soar
Unsure I can take any more
I try again
A battle to win
"Unbelieveable," as I die with a roar

I breathe deep and I wait
Hoping for change in my fate
I find my mob
But then with a sob
Draknor hits! DP's are now eight

My spirits are no longer fine
I'm going out of my mind!
Dragon Reach I unlock
Behind a large rock
I'm swarmed! Flssssh 0, Kwellans 9

I checked my Character when
My death points were one shy of ten
The window I close
And in front of my nose
Draknor! Oh crap, not again!

Now at the smelter I craft
To try again, I would be daft
I exit the game
And then to keep sane
I head for and take a hot bath

Submitted by Flsssssh of Blight

There once was a young gnome from Toku
Who welcomed new guildies by barbecue
While her cooking was scary
And made all others wary
Her brandy helped eaters to chew

She served up fine klava each morning
Without any need for a warning
Tested and true
The best kind of brew
Delicious and truly heart-warming

With her bow and some extra silk strings
She made a weird musical thing
The listeners all roared
As she strummed a bad chord
Made worse when she started to sing

She tried baking some cookies ad hoc
With grain stalks, dead mouse and salt rock
Pounding mix on the floor
Baking fire set at 'roar'
They turned out worse than old dwarven socks

The gnome tried to house-train a ruxus
For slobber to keep paints deluxe-us
The ruxus got out
Left slime trails about
The neighbors sure raised some big fusses

Submitted by Awdz Bodkins of Chaos

While a fight against Valkor's a thrill,
Be warned -- he's a tough one to kill!
Should you survive his bats
And his blood bolt attacks
Do be sure not to fall down the hill.

A brave monk and a Vexator fought
As blue fringes were all that he sought.
The monk leapt all around
'Til the Vexator found
It had tied itself up in a knot.

S.O.G. is a one of a kind.
He will challenge your body and mind.
It may take your whole night
Just to win through the fight,
Plus he's one S.O.B. just to find!

So you want to fight Reklar? Beware!
I've been told that he doesn't play fair.
So go grab all your shards
Only they hit him hard,
Otherwise he's got death points to share.

Shalindra's a sweet one it's said,
Hugs and helping from morning 'til bed.
But if she gets smeared
Then best cover your ears
She'll cuss 'til a sailor turns red!

To spend your time crafting's a fright.
You would much rather go off and fight.
But those death points add up
So its time to give up
And go dig some essence of blight.

The arena's not only on Blight.
So I hope we can keep this polite.
May your multicast 2
Or Gold Rage strike true.
We risk only our egos tonight.

Submitted by Shalindra of Order

Congratulations again to our winners! Stay tuned for the next contest---Same Baela time, same Baela channel!

...aw shucks...where's my dramatic theme song?