My date with glory

I was turned onto The Screen Savers during a free preview of TechTV on satellite. The show was fresh and funny, and it talked tech. Sure it dumbs down a bit during "Leo's Boot Camp", where Leo deals with the computer questions of the average Joe, but there's still a lot of meat on the bone when they get going. How can I not love a show that tuned me onto blogging, firewalls, Microsoft security flaws, and much more? They also gave me Cat...and there is nothing wrong with that.

For these and many other reasons I pay good money to watch TechTV. It's when they announced that their next LAN party was going to be Battlefield 1942 that I knew it was time to take something back...namely phat network loot.

I consider myself somewhat of a BF 1942 aficionado. Yes it was I who racked up 64 kills in one hour in a Berlin meat market of a fight. And Yes it is I who forever ranks in the top 3. I know I know...you all adore me. So how could I resist the worldwide geek exposure of network television? I could not.

The match was to be played using the multiplayer demo with the patch. No problem, I'll just download the demo in case the full version won't work. As you can see I was covering my bases well, I didn't want any last minute screw ups that would snatch the glory from my hands. After patching things up there was nothing left but the waiting.

Cue 7:30 EST. The server is up and I was into it like George Foreman into a cheese burger. I was primed.

'Wrong version of game'

What?! YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! How could this be happening to me? I exited to desktop to reapply the patch. Hurrying as fast as I could I double-clicked and started the patch again. It was during this that I noticed I was installing the multiplayer server patch. I let out a bellow...I'm sure Martin Sargent could notice a disturbance in the force. There was evil a brewin' deep down inside me.

Six vital minutes later after installing the patch, I was sure there was no hope for me getting into the server. I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was still room left. You know the saying, a hero presses on when others give up.

I chose Japanese, because even though they are at a disadvantage, I prefer their weapons. The game was running down but I still managed to place 3rd on the Japanese. I was just getting warmed up.

When the next match hit I was ready to rock. I hit the beach solo and took out two Americans, one with a jeep and the other with my gun. I was just putting a bead on the third when a American tank turned me into hamburger. By the time I was ready to re spawn the match was all but done. Our landing ship was at the bottom of the ocean, and our Aircraft carrier looked like it was heading back to Osaka. The game was over but I placed first. Too bad the Americans swept the top 3 spots.

The game didn't go a good as I hoped. The Japanese where out manned 3 to 1, so it was near impossible to take any spots. But I did have one highlight of the night when I gunned down Kevin Rose as he was cresting a hill. My wife said it was because he was talking to Leo at the time. But I know in my heart of hearts that he wasn't moving because he was paralyzed with fear.

And as quickly as it started, it was done. No prizes for me, no international fame, no call from Patrick to fly down to San Francisco and join the team. But that's alright with me, we'll always have Wake Island and the memories.