Dragonshard Installer

Reviewing games here at WarCry can often be tiring. You grow weary of the endless humdrum that is installing game after game after game. Sure, you usually get a break between the installations, but you need it with the inane, tedious, and often hideously unattractive installers that these so called "best sellers" often come packaged with. If you're like me, you've been praying for something different, something new, something unique. Friends, our prayers have been answered. Dungeons and Dragons, once only a game, has a new face. Its newest cash cow, Dragonshard, is a masterpiece in software installation design.

Brought to you by Atari, the Dragonshard Installer is a breath of fresh air in the stagnant cavernous depths of the software installation industry. But Atari doesn't deserve all of the credit. The fine folks over at Liquid Entertainment are the geniuses behind this stunning piece of work. To these gentle souls, I say "Thank you."

I popped in the first disc, it brought up the standard options screen, I was entirely unimpressed at this point. But lo and behold, I clicked on 'Install Dragonshard' and I was whisked away to a place of frivolity, bright colors, whirring gears; the Buddhists call it Nirvana. Distracted by the immersion it created, and awed by the depths of the Installer Mechanics, it took me some time to finally accept the license agreement and move on. This was already a dream come true, and it was only to improve from there!

The first level of the Installer required the entry of a cryptic code to unlock a massive portal into the Dragonshard dimension. The lock was tricky, the code was hard to decipher, but with some tricks I've picked up in Bard's Tale from back in the day I managed to unlock each portion of the lock system and open the portal.

This new land was strange, and the colors had been faded, though the immersion was still total. I had to choose a destination, without this navigation, who knows where the Dragonshard Installer would end up. This was a crucial decision, and time was of the essence. I thought hard and made a quick decision, hoping for the best. The fruits of my labor were immediately apparent as I reached my destination and was confronted with yet another puzzle to kick my brain into high gear.

The markings are indecipherable, though there is a gleam of a bright red gem, sparkling, taunting, challenging me to reveal more like it. It would take time to figure out what these figures meant, but fortunately, time was one commodity I had in abundance on this rare and glorious occasion. As time passed, the meaning became clearer, and I came closer and closer to unlocking this secret. Finally, I was getting somewhere! The red gem had given some clue, and before long they encompassed the portal. My fortune was growing, and soon more gems became clear. First yellow, shining like the sun on a clear day, then green, as vibrant as the finest grass in the most fertile soil of the world. I knew I was making progress as the concentric circles of gems came closer to completion. Finally, after a grueling session of staring intently at the images on my screen, pondering deeply on the esoteric meaning of the runes and glyphs, considering with excitement the worth of these abundant gems being revealed, the Installer was complete, my task accomplished, the fun was at an end' or so it seemed.

Loading up the game, I spied a "check for updates" button in the bottom right. My excitement grew. Maybe there was more! I chose this option with such fervor I nearly broke my optical mouse, but my hopes were dashed by the mundane follow-up installer program. It looked like all the rest. I suppose their update team lacked the drive and initiative that made their original installer dev team the heroes that they are.

After I finished the lackluster Update Bonus Installer, the fun was over. I even tried to play the game, but it disappeared without a trace each time I tried. The Installer, fortunately, had a very high replay value, and I went through it a second time, with nearly the same excitement, though I knew how it would end.