Oooh, Oooh, Complete Control, That's A Laugh. Parental Control On All New Consoles.

Pardon, is my Clash showing? Anyway, the ESA is happy to announce that all the next generation consoles have parental controls of some kind. Of course, back in my day, "parental control" was defined as "taking the console and putting it in the closet where you couldn't reach it," but in 2005, the babies must not be unplugged from their electric teat! You may have already seen parental controls' successes in keeping sex and bad things off the television, cable box, Internet, CD player, and DVD player. However, I for one welcome this empty and pointless gesture, because now all the bad parents out there can't sue because it's back to being their fault for not making sure the kids don't play violent or raunchy games. I can enjoy my GTA, the good parents will keep on being good parents and use the controls or just won't buy the games that offend their sensibilities, and the bad parents are legally muzzled until they find something else to gnaw on. I call it a win all around.