Asherons Call: September Rollout is Up!

Ulgrim sat cross-legged in the shadow of the Smoking Axe Tavern in Ayan Baqur, tracing strange patterns in the dirt. A shadow appeared, looming over him and obscuring the patterns he was tracing. He looked up and squinted in the harsh sunlight of the desert town.

"Eh? Who goes there? You're blocking my light!"

"I apologize, Uncle," the stranger replied, shifting slightly to the side.

Ulgrim blinked a few times, then stood up to embrace his nephew. "Ardry, my boy! Where have you been?"

"Will you remember if I tell you, Uncle?"

Ulgrim considered that for a moment. "Probably not. So let's not waste time talking about it! What brings you to my town?"

"Ah, well, I wanted to consult with you about a strange artifact I found..."

"Of course, of course, my boy. There's no one who knows more about strange artifacts than I do!" Ulgrim rubbed his hands together. "But first, be a friend and get me a mug of stout, would you?"

"Okay, Uncle, I'll go get you some stout, but while I'm in there I want you to examine this..." Ardry pulled out a small velvet bag from his pack and placed it in Ulgrim's hand. It was heavy for its size and felt like it had an apple or a small fruit inside. "Mind you keep it discreet, as it is... very shiny." That said, he walked through the tavern's threshold and disappeared within.

Ulgrim snorted at his nephew's concern and upended the bag, spilling its contents into his palm. He let out a low whistle and immediately covered the object between both hands. It was a huge red gem, a ruby most likely, that seemed to possess a core of darkness. He turned his back so that the walls of the tavern would obscure what he was doing, and examined its many flawless facets. Ardry came back outside with two mugs of stout in his hands.

"Great galloping Golems, my boy! Where did you get this?" He accepted one mug from Ardry and quaffed half of it in one gulp, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his robe.

"From an undead lord, in a recently uncovered crypt. I was asked to find it by a new and somewhat suspicious character who's taken up residence near Zaikhal. I need to know if you can tell anything about it, before I give it to him. I've been in situations like this before. I know what kind of havoc can lurk in the center of a suspiciously colored gem. I don't want to accidentally unleash the Hopeslayer, or anything like that."

Ulgrim shook the gem while holding it to his ear. "Well, on that account you can rest easy. I don't think there's any Hopeslayer in here. It does look very odd, though, doesn't it?" He paused, then held it to his nose and took a deep, rumbling snort. "Nope, doesn't smell particularly Bael'Zharonish, either, though that can be hard to tell. I say though, it does smell strangely familiar, like some other rubies I've come across..."

Ulgrim slipped the gem back into its bag and handed the bag back to Ardry. "I'd recommend you take it to Aliester and see what he can make of it. He's the gem expert."

Ardry sighed. "I know. I was hoping to avoid a journey all the way out there, just to endure another hour-long lecture on the geomantic properties of boiled river mud. I thought a nice mug of stout with my favorite uncle would be preferable."

Ulgrim gave his nephew a sly look. "Oh, very sweet. A mug of stout with your favorite uncle, eh? Why, if only your mother was around, so I could tell her what a kind and dutiful boy she raised... But honestly now, you've got something else on your mind, I can tell."

Ardry sighed, a little embarrassed, and drew another velvet bag from his pack. This one was slightly larger than the previous one. He handed the bag to his uncle, who took it from him with a suspicious glare.

"Now, before you open this, Uncle -" Ardry began, but it was too late. Ulgrim opened the bag and dropped the contents into his hand again. It was an egg, and very obviously not a chicken egg. Ulgrim grinned and licked his lips. "How nice, you brought me a hard-boiled egg for lunch. You know, I was just thinking of how hungry I was... Fetch me some salt and pepper, would you?"

Before Ardry could protest, Ulgrim knocked the egg against his boot to crack it. He was ready to start peeling off pieces of shell when it twitched and squeaked. He shrieked, a high-pitched wail of terror, and dropped the egg.

Ardry gave a wordless cry of dismay and dove for the egg. He hit the ground, and it sounded like a few things in his pack broke as he did, but he managed to catch the egg and save it from hitting the hard-packed desert dirt.

"What kind of hard-boiled egg is that?!?" Ulgrim yelled in shock.

"Not a hard-boiled egg at all, Uncle." Both men watched in fascination as the shell cracked all the way around, and bits and fragments of it cascaded from Ardry's cupped hands. The baby animal that had been concealed within the egg twisted and squeaked again. Once all the shell pieces had been sloughed off, Ulgrim saw that it was a very small Armoredillo. It looked at him with small, beady, but undeniably cute eyes.

"I didn't bring you lunch, Uncle," Ardry sighed, still prone on the ground with the baby Armoredillo cradled in his hands. "I brought you a pet. Don't feed it any stout."