"Get a life"? Psh. This *is* your life.

You're one bad dude, and are totally going to hell for that.

You've been following the Michaels since the videogame Armageddon began.

Apparently you studied political science and mass murder at college. That’s how you got 100% on the Unforgotten Realms Quiz!

The ZP Mashup was no match for me! *flex*

I voted in every 2009 March Mayhem match-up!

"This is SPARTA!"

Better Red than Dead! Red Faction!

Winner: Easiest WoW Quiz EVER!

Over 100 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 week minimum]

Created a thread with over 1,000 views.

Maybe you're good, maybe you're not. But you're definitely you, and that's what matters.

Has commented on over 100 different topics.

For creating a thread with over 50 replies.

Has set an avatar.

Has posted in more than 3 different forums.

♫ All around invaded Earth / the SPARTAN drove the Warthog ♫

I took the survey! I am a statistic!

Has created a user profile.

Has been added as a friend.

Has fought 1 battle

Has won a battle

Has won more than one battle consecutively

Has won 1 battle without the loss of a complete army

We won the Webby...because we rule!

Has posted in more than 12 different months.

For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.

Celebrating 4 years of The Escapist!

You rolled a Bulbasaur on your INT check, but hopefully you had fun with the Unforgotten Realms Quiz!

Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!

Has added their Xbox Live gamertag to their profile.

Aced the Easy Left 4 Dead Quiz

Has completed 10 quizzes.

Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched 5 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched two episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched the Apocalypse Lane pilot episode.

Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched 10 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched 15 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 25 episodes of Unskippable

Watched all of Metal Gear August on Unskippable

Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched 4 episodes of Rebecca Mayes Muses

Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable

Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.

I got off the Desert Bus in Las Vegas, Nevada!

Save versus Fourth Edition.

Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist

I watched the Series Finale of There Will Be Brawl!

Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable

"Crush your enemies!"

"See them driven before you!"

Watched 52 episodes of Unskippable

for getting a BLUR beta key

You want to shoot things.

If it's bright, colorful, and happy, you want to play it.

Has completed 25 quizzes.

You might not die in a sketchy situation. Hooray!

You come for the videos and stay ... well, for the other videos.

Scientific progress requires sacrifice. You know this.

Has posted in more than 10 different forums.

Your heart is full of warmth. You're also kind of a sucker.

You have successfully interacted with the Escapist WoW timeline.

What you lack in height you make up for in charm.

Has read 150 Stolen Pixels comics.

Hit first, ask questions later.

The fates have decided ... along with your help.

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Videogame music is cool and all, it's just not really your thing.

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Who wants to live forever?

Guns and alcohol - the perfect combination.

Of course your heart is cold. It isn't even beating!

You've got your strengths and faults, but hey - you're only human.

You're good-hearted and can wield Light incarnate, but you can't fly spaceships.

Knowledge is power. So are explosions.

Lok'tar Ogar! For the Horde!

The Light justifies the means.

Stay away from da voodoo.

You might be patient, but you won't take anyone's bull.

Falling room only.

Has read at least one article in 52 weekly issues of The Escapist

Filled out a March Mayhem 2011 Bracket

Quit gawking and toss me that shotgun so I can blast these bastards.

You are master of psionics and mind-control, perhaps because your squidface is so ably adapted to consume brains.

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

Witnessed the introduction of a legend

Knows the depth of the soul of the poet

Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.

Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews

Would you like another pellet?

You've got mail!

It's all about the music

Free as in speech, not free as in beer.

Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits

Commented on an episode of Extra Credits

The cursed numbers of misfortune.

Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Posted a comment using Facebook

You have captured a Fallen Angel.

Earned the Cybermen result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Watched an episode of The Big Picture after Choice and Conflict