There are only two things that could make this better...

You make ass-kicking an art form.

You'll save the world once you remember who you are.

Over 5000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [6 month minimum]

It PROBABLY won't eat your brains.

You wave that geek flag, and you wave it proudly.

Awarded to members of the Publisher's Club

Has posted in more than 12 different months.

Adventuring is a kid's game, but you'll offer a sword and some tips.

Punch first, think later.

With everybody else so serious all the time, somebody's gotta crack the jokes.

Whose side are you on? What are you after? Are you actually the hero's father?

Pure-hearted and innocent, you bring sunshine to the world. Healing spells, too.

If you've got it, flaunt it.

You want to be a plumber? A doctor? A tennis star? You can do it all!

You listen to fan remixes of videogame tunes... if you don't make them yourself.

You've been there, seen that, and bought a postcard.

The very definition of Nerd Power.

People don't understand, you just want to help!

I heard you really, REALLY like them.

What you lack in height you make up for in charm.

You're consistently trounced by a kid and an electric rat. But you keep trying.

Aced the BioShock quiz

You may spend a lot on hair products, but are still quite evil.

There are some things you just love to hate.

Over 1000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 month minimum]

Big, loud, and obnoxious, but you have legions of (semi) loyal followers anyway.

Your heart is full of warmth. You're also kind of a sucker.

Twittered about great game literature. #greatgamelit

Aced the Open-Book Escapist Quiz

Two tails, no waiting.

Where would Mario be without you?

Loyal, faithful, and true...just not very bright.

A hedgehog killed your mother. You shall have revenge!

You've got this villain thing down cold.

I'm now an Alpha Protocol agent...shhhh, it's a secret!

Locked and Loaded! Hoo-rah! Join our AVP Battle!

Has been added as a friend by 50 others.

Has posted in a user group on over 120 different days.

Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist

Got 100% on the Impossible Yahtzee Quiz

Watch as I fly through the air and catch myself with my prehensile tail!

Enjoyed the contents of the 2009 Advent Calendar

Has completed 25 quizzes.

Has been added as a friend by 25 others.

Has completed 10 quizzes.

Knows more about Star Trek than the Enterprise computer.

Has posted in a user group on over 30 different days.

Over 100 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 week minimum]

Has received and read messages from 10 people.

Created a thread with over 1,000 views.

Celebrating 4 years of The Escapist!

Member of 1 User Group

Has added more than 10 friends.

Has posted in more than 3 different forums.

Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!

Has been added as a friend by 10 others.

Has been added as a friend.

For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.

Has added a friend!

Has set an avatar.

Has fought 1 battle

Has created a user profile.

For creating a thread with over 50 replies.

We won the Webby...because we rule!

Has commented on over 100 different topics.

Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse

Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched 5 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched every episode of There Will Be Brawl

I watched the Series Finale of There Will Be Brawl!

Has received and read messages from 25 people.

Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable

Has commented on over 1,000 different topics.

Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable

Solo is for suckers

You want to shoot things.

You do fairly well in a crisis, but best not to push it.

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Articles, comics, forums, videos ... you like a little bit of everything.

You've been with us since the days of the very first PDFs.

You lurk in the shadows, seeing all, commenting on little.

Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Has posted in more than 10 different forums.

Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.

You have successfully interacted with the Escapist WoW timeline.

Has linked their Steam account on their profile.

Robe and hat not included.

Convert others to your deity, then bash them in the face.

Hit first, ask questions later.

You'd put this badge in your profile, but it just takes so much effort...

Has posted in a user group on over 360 days.

Aced our Super Easy Quiz 2010

Has added their Xbox Live gamertag to their profile.

Filled out a March Mayhem 2011 Bracket

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

Watched the community's favorite Zero Punctuation.

Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.

Whatever you do, don't click here.

Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews