Keeping the hamsters running, one day at a time.

perl -le '$_=($p=length("Use Perl;"))*8+2;map{print chr}($_,$_-$p,$p*$p-1,$p*$p--)'

Ask me about my banhammer

You can never have enough bullets. For when the undead come.

Quite the whiskered chap

You're craaaaaaaaazy!

It PROBABLY won't eat your brains.

Does not play well with others. There are rumours that you eat only puppies and kittens.

You're one bad dude, and are totally going to hell for that.

This one gives you +1 awesomeness

This pineapple is not for eating. Take your fruit outside and play.

Who says ceremonial assassination can't be festive?

Pony pony pony pony...

And ever. and ever. and ever.

Is a proud member of the Dance Dance Kitty revolution.

♫ All around invaded Earth / the SPARTAN drove the Warthog ♫

Someone really didn't think this through.

Do.Not.Click.This.Button

The fates have decided ... along with your help.

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Kewl as a cucumber, that is what my Dad always used to say. I guess he was hip to the jive before I was!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

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I voted in every 2009 March Mayhem match-up!

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Would you like another pellet?

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"Surrender Monkey!"

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Watched 10 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

We won the Webby...because we rule!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

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Founder of User Group with 25 members

You rolled a Bulbasaur on your INT check, but hopefully you had fun with the Unforgotten Realms Quiz!

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Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

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Watched 8 episodes of The Escapist Show

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Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Watched the Apocalypse Lane pilot episode.

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

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You know who will win in a fight between a T-Rex and a million kittens.

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

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Thrice educated on games and learning.

Has received and read messages from 50 people.

Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable

You should probably just stay indoors and hope for the best.

Watched 15 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Gamers are the new supermen.

I got off the Desert Bus in Las Vegas, Nevada!

Now name him something tough so he doesn't get picked on at school.

When it finally comes down, the individual with a non-corrosive culinary multi-tool will have the edge.

Watch as I fly through the air and catch myself with my prehensile tail!

Can it be?? Under the tree? A real live PONEE?!!

I watched the Series Finale of There Will Be Brawl!

Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable

Watched the community's favorite Zero Punctuation.

Knows the depth of the soul of the poet

"Crush your enemies!"

You do fairly well in a crisis, but best not to push it.

Free as in speech, not free as in beer.

Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits

It's all about the music

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"See them driven before you!"

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Founder of User Group with 100 members

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Voted in every match-up in March Mayhem 2010

Watched 45 episodes of Apocalypse Lane

Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews

Solo is for suckers

Has posted in a user group on over 30 different days.

Articles, comics, forums, videos ... you like a little bit of everything.

You're consistently trounced by a kid and an electric rat. But you keep trying.

Watched 25 episodes of Rebecca Mayes Muses

Twittered about great game literature. #greatgamelit

There's only so much love to go around. You dole your share out carefully.

You have successfully interacted with the Escapist WoW timeline.

What you lack in height you make up for in charm.

Robe and hat not included.

Don't think we don't see you making eyes at those other badges, pal.

Has been added as a friend by 10 others.

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You wave that geek flag, and you wave it proudly.

You listen to fan remixes of videogame tunes... if you don't make them yourself.

Whose side are you on? What are you after? Are you actually the hero's father?

Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.

Of course your heart is cold. It isn't even beating!

For creating a thread with over 50 replies.

Aced our Super Easy Quiz 2010

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Claimed the exclusive PubClub pony in Horse Club

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Member of 15 user groups

So terribly tortured inside.

Watched 4 episodes of Anthony Saves the World

Filled out a March Mayhem 2011 Bracket

Over 1000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 month minimum]

Whatever you do, don't click here.

I voted in every match-up during 2011 March Mayhem

Has read at least one article in 104 weekly issues of The Escapist

You are master of psionics and mind-control, perhaps because your squidface is so ably adapted to consume brains.

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

Watched all 9 episodes of Anthony Saves the World leading up to the Finale!

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You're just trying to get even with the flying kid who cut off your hand.

Watched 25 episodes of Apocalypse Lane

The first time is always the best time.

You've got mail!

Watched an episode of The Big Picture after Choice and Conflict

The cursed numbers of misfortune.

Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows

Created a thread with over 10,000 views.

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Earned the Mummy result. Who doesn't love to curse?

You're an experienced player of The Elder Scrolls series.

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Watched 150 Zero Punctuation Reviews

You've uncovered the 3rd Game of Christmas of 2011!

Shared 100 pieces of content using the Like button

Before Jaws, there was you!