He's not laughing AT you, he's...ok, he's laughing at you.

You know so much about Apocalypse Lane, you get your very own Cuddles!

You're one bad dude, and are totally going to hell for that.

You make ass-kicking an art form.

You'd sell your own mother to buy a pack of gum. In fact, you probably already have.

Honorable Mention - Haiku Contest - Summer E Games

Answered all 150 questions correct in the six-part Summer E Games Epic Quiz

I finished all of the Epic Quizzes 100% Correctly! Phew, my brain hurts.

I chose my 32 in the 2010 Summer E Games Legacy Battle Draft

Gamers are the new supermen.

Has posted in more than 3 different forums.

Has posted in more than 12 different months.

Got 100% on the Impossible Yahtzee Quiz

Knows more about Star Trek than the Enterprise computer.

You rolled a Bulbasaur on your INT check, but hopefully you had fun with the Unforgotten Realms Quiz!

You're smarter than him! Congrats on getting 100% on the Escapist Birthday Quiz!

Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!

Has completed 10 quizzes.

Has completed 25 quizzes.

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Aced the Easy Left 4 Dead Quiz

For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.

Aced the BioShock quiz

Aced the Oscars quiz

I heard you really, REALLY like them.

You've been following the Michaels since the videogame Armageddon began.

Aced the Open-Book Escapist Quiz

Why bother with the main story when you can explore?

You want to shoot things.

You only play really Important games.

Who has time to finish games?

Achievements, leaderboards, whatever it is, you must conquer it.

More real than real.

You know games are meant to be modified.

If it's bright, colorful, and happy, you want to play it.

You do fairly well in a crisis, but best not to push it.

You're not a master yet, but you're learning.

You could face Voldemort all by yourself!

Articles, comics, forums, videos ... you like a little bit of everything.

You mean there's more to The Escapist than just the forums? Huh, you had no idea.

Articles, columns, news and reviews: If it has words, you love it.

You come for the videos and stay ... well, for the other videos.

You may spend a lot on hair products, but are still quite evil.

You've got this villain thing down cold.

You're consistently trounced by a kid and an electric rat. But you keep trying.

Big, loud, and obnoxious, but you have legions of (semi) loyal followers anyway.

A hedgehog killed your mother. You shall have revenge!

Has completed 75 quizzes

There's only so much love to go around. You dole your share out carefully.

For the most part you're a kind and decent person.

Your heart is full of warmth. You're also kind of a sucker.

Winner: Easiest WoW Quiz EVER!

Two tails, no waiting.

What you lack in height you make up for in charm.

Loyal, faithful, and true...just not very bright.

The very definition of Nerd Power.

People don't understand, you just want to help!

Where would Mario be without you?

You've been there, seen that, and bought a postcard.

Better Red than Dead! Red Faction!

I voted in the Red Faction Blow Stuff Up Mash-Up!

I helped with a Slogan for The Escapist!

I took the survey! I am a statistic!

I'm now an Alpha Protocol agent...shhhh, it's a secret!

We won the Webby...because we rule!

Has been added as a friend.

Has added a friend!

Has set an avatar.

Has created a user profile.

Has added their Xbox Live gamertag to their profile.

Has linked their Steam account on their profile.

Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 52 weekly issues of The Escapist

Watched the Apocalypse Lane pilot episode.

Watched 7 episodes of Apocalypse Lane

Watched 15 episodes of Apocalypse Lane

Watched 25 episodes of Apocalypse Lane

Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched 10 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched two episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched 8 episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched 20 episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched Red Alert on The Escapist Show

Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Watched 4 episodes of Rebecca Mayes Muses

Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read 150 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched 5 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

I watched the Series Finale of There Will Be Brawl!

Watched every episode of There Will Be Brawl

Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 25 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 52 episodes of Unskippable

Watched all of Metal Gear August on Unskippable

You escaped from The Escapist's Phantom of the Arcade text adventure!

Correctly identified all 30 monsters in WarCry's 30 Monsters in 30 Seconds game!

Got the Good Ending in POTA2

Got the Bad Ending in POTA2

Aced the 30 Horror Movies in 30 Seconds Quiz

Aced the 30 Vampires in 30 Seconds Quiz

Aced the 30 Robots in 30 Seconds Quiz

Completed the events in the Halloween Extravaganza

This one gives you +1 awesomeness

It's fruit AND cake. It's like, good for you! You should definitely share.

Enjoyed the contents of the 2009 Advent Calendar

This candy heart is Rated S for....Simbada-bulada.

Celebrating 4 years of The Escapist!

I downloaded Issue 210 as a PDF!

I voted in every 2009 March Mayhem match-up!

I got off the Desert Bus in Las Vegas, Nevada!

Has fought 1 battle

Has won a battle

Has won more than one battle consecutively

Has won 1 battle without the loss of a complete army

"Crush your enemies!"

"Surrender Monkey!"

You have successfully interacted with the Escapist WoW timeline.

You have earned your first mount.

Your mount is seriously epic. Seriously

I believe you can fly. In Azeroth!

You are the highest level that can be obtained. For now.

Robe and hat not included.

You picked up a four-leaf clover and it wilted.

The fates have decided ... along with your help.

You have embraced your path, but you still have much to learn.

"Get a life"? Psh. This *is* your life.

You wave that geek flag, and you wave it proudly.

You have your nerdy tendencies, but only once in a while.

Yeah, you're kind of a nerd. So what, isn't everybody?

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Videogame music is cool and all, it's just not really your thing.

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Whose side are you on? What are you after? Are you actually the hero's father?

If you've got it, flaunt it.

Pure-hearted and innocent, you bring sunshine to the world. Healing spells, too.

With everybody else so serious all the time, somebody's gotta crack the jokes.

Adventuring is a kid's game, but you'll offer a sword and some tips.

You're plucky, adventurous and brave, but you've still got a lot to learn.

You'll save the world once you remember who you are.

Punch first, think later.

Lok'tar Ogar! For the Horde!

You're good-hearted and can wield Light incarnate, but you can't fly spaceships.

Stay away from da voodoo.

Knowledge is power. So are explosions.

Guns and alcohol - the perfect combination.

You've got your strengths and faults, but hey - you're only human.

Who wants to live forever?

Of course your heart is cold. It isn't even beating!

Falling room only.

Aced our Super Easy Quiz 2010

Has watched 5 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

So terribly tortured inside.

Has watched 10 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

Quit gawking and toss me that shotgun so I can blast these bastards.

The monsters mostly come out at night - mostly.

I'll kill every zombie ass I see to save my little girl.

Why can't these dang zombies just let me sit here and eat this donut?

I'm far too rich to deal with the unwashed hordes - not to mention these damn zombies.

You are an insect-like creature that corrodes metal on contact and consumes the rust.

You are master of psionics and mind-control, perhaps because your squidface is so ably adapted to consume brains.

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum! You pummel your enemies because you are so big and so strong.

You respect your packmates, knowing that you can teleport together to bring down any foe.

You are infinitely more intelligent than the pitiful creatures with only one eye.

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

There are only two things that could make this better...

Knows the depth of the soul of the poet

Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.

You got mad and took it out on a baby. That's evil.

What's more sinister than an octopus drag queen?

All you wanted was infinite power. Instead you get eternity with Gilbert Gottfried.

You're just trying to get even with the flying kid who cut off your hand.

You're the kind of bad guy Shakespeare would write if he was a giraffe.

You've got mail!

It's all about the music

Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits

Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows

Welcome to Columbia!

You're so on fire that it's cool. How do you do it?

Amat victoria curam

Earned the Cybermen result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Weeping Angel result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned The Master result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Vashta Nerada result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Sontaran result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Dalek result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned The Silence result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Perfection is not an accident.

Earned the Catwoman result in the 'Which Batman Villain Are You?' Quiz

You've beaten a few of the The Elder Scrolls games.

Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews